Spent some time reading Thomas Moore’s ‘Care of the Soul’ this weekend together. It’s a book from the shelves that was due to be dusted off a bit… and a Saturday afternoon in front of the woodstove, under a blanket seemed a fitting occasion read out loud and digest.
It’s going to be a slow read this time for the two of us, as we are rarely in a hurry to do anything quickly… and the thoughts the this book generates are worth pondering and processing.
In his opening pages, Moore lays out the idea that many of who are seeking ‘therapy’ of some sort often times show up to sessions or conversations seeking to eliminate something from their lives. A person who has a desire to not be dependent on ‘another’ because they value the idea of independence as a virtue will seek to extract feelings of neediness.
Moore takes a different angle on situations like this by attempting to get the person to pay attention to what the ‘dependent’ tendencies are try to say to them. By longing so much for the ideal of being independent, the individual may be creating a wall that will prevent them from experiencing intimacy with another that will provide balance and congruence in their interpersonal relationships.
It is necessary for us to nurture healthy dependence with each other that will not stifle the unique ways that we are able to join together with someone… that honestly… we do need.
In what ways do you seek to extract the inner ‘voices’ within out of fear of being weak in some area? Are those ‘voices’ attempting to draw you into closer to relationship with someone else who will be able to care for your soul if you allowed yourself to known and be known for who you are… no more… no less… and find yourself the owner of matters of the soul that cannot be bought?