A Brief Pause… An Anniversary Weekend


Yesterday, we celebrated our first anniversary… and for the next few days, we will be off the grid.  So… that means no new posts for a short time.

We are grateful to all of our family and friends who have been a support to us during this time of building a new life, and blending two worlds.

To our folks…

Ricky and Barbara Alexander: Could not have the opportunity to grow together, rest together, sort together, love together… and all of the other emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual landscapes that we travel together without the two of you.  Deepest appreciation and gratefulness for who you are.  We are looking forward to our time together with you both soon.

Dave and Mary Oberlin:  The simple way in which we are able to spend time together talking, eating, and laughing is always encouraging and just what we need.  We always feel at home whether the time spent is random… or seeking deeper understanding.  Thank you for your humor and for sharing  your life with us.

To our kids…

We love you all… and are proud of the way that you except each other and us as we blend our two families.  We know that we are lame… and that you don’t like it when we make you hand in your technology at night.  We know that you sneak down stairs after we go to bed, because we can hear you, and can follow your trail of laffy taffy wrappers throughout the house.  We know that their have been bumps along the way in learning each others language… but you are all amazing people, and we are honored to have a roll to play in helping you discover who you were created to be.  You are loved…

To the Griffes’, the Hydes’, Kim, Jodi, Brian and Kelly, the Wright’s, the VanTreese’s, Kyle and Tom, and everyone else (should never have started to list individuals)… thank you.

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She sets the pace…

slowdownBefore every meal that Amy and I sit down to, we lean into each other to express our gratitude and appreciation for each other… and to offer a kiss.  This is a prayerful moment for me as I express these parts of my love for her… to her.  While being able to enter into that space with her is wonderful enough… there are also moments leading up to that which are just as special.

There is often a tug of war over who gets to put food on their plate first.  Often times we will pile the food on our plate at the stove and then move to the table.  I always insist that she get hers first… and she returns the insisting that I go first… I tend to give in most of the time.

She likes it that way.

From the stove, I will move my plate to the dinner table where I will put it down, and anxiously wait for Amy to arrive with hers.  I don’t sit down yet… because my heart is longing for her arrival (even though it is usually just a few feet of distance between us).  Sometimes, I need to remind the kiddos (who are already seated) not to take a bite until she arrives.  She is worth the wait.

Finally… Amy will arrive with her food, and I will time out my sitting down with her… so that I can lean in for that kiss… and the expression of gratitude and appreciation.

This is only one example of one of the greatest lessons I have learned in my life from Amy… the importance of a woman being able to set the pace.

As a man… with many ideas… I have had the double edged sword experience of having the ability to jet off in many directions… satisfying the ideas and ambitions within me.  But have burned out trying… or been too afraid to actually move any of those ideas into reality.

I had no sense of pace.

A woman has a natural way about her that feels her way into waiting.  As a man… I can suggest any number of directions that we could head… all of them may be good… but not all of them may be the way that we should go.  And so I need her…

I need her to set the pace… so that the good ideas drop off… and the great ideas remain.

I need her to set the pace… so that as a man, I can appreciate more that natural intuition she has to feel her way through life with me.

I need her to set the pace… because sometimes, as a man… I miss the urgency of a situation where action is needed… now.

I need her to set the pace… because in my ability to move from point A… to B… to C… sometimes I miss the opportunities to pause at point A.1… A.2…. A.3…

Men tend to miss out on a lot of life… because we haven’t learned to slow our pace down long enough to smell the roses.  We get pace wrong… a lot.

… and so I need her…

To teach me how to to trust… and to find God in the places that move slower in life… to breath in all of the graces I would have missed… had I set off on my own… and expected her to keep up.