The Art of Missing

Time and space are two natural parts of life that can be like a two edged sword.

When you are with the one that you love, it is easy to feel as though you have touched eternity, where the confines of time and space seem to dissolve, along with all the cares and worries of the world.

When you are apart, they can feel as though the weight of the separation that we run from increases exponentially to the point where you are pushing through them both like a hot tar that burns at your flesh.

The pace we have set in our relationship has been a slow one.  It has been full… but slow.   The year plus that we have behind us has been made up of months… weeks… days… hours… and minutes… none of which have been taken for granted… all of which have been filled with deep emotions and conversations… and growing together.

In all of it, there has been much time that has been spent in missing.

It is easy to be grateful when time is spent together.

However, gratitude needs to find a place in the time spent apart.

And that is where creativity needs to kick in.

In the missing, there is an opportunity to dig in to the depths of who you are, and find a way to reach out to the other in a way that can be extended out when you get to be together again.

Last year, art projects that have become center pieces in the home… or recording a book for the other to listen to while travelling in the car were a couple of the ways in which we were able to give ourselves to each other even when time and space did not allow it.

This past week, I was able to take some saws and a rake out into the woods to begin carving a hiking trail for us and the family to walk through.  The kids were able to be a part of this.  This was my way to miss her, when she isn’t here.  I was able to find her as we cleared a winding path through the physical ruggedness of the land.  Later, when she arrived, we were able to walk hand in hand through our new path.

When you feel the effects of a separation that is between you, that isn’t caused by unresolved shame… and is simply the result of time and space taking their place… be intentional about finding each other in the missing.  It is an art… that will nurture intimacy in a way that keeps you single focused.

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