Love, Growth, and Pain

_CSC0061It is impossible to grow, and not experience pain of some sort.  Growth brings pain because there is a detachment from ‘what was’ to ‘what will be’.  It is the space between those two areas where we live, and where pain can come into play.

To love… is to grow.

Every new experience or new act of love is a detachment from what we knew ‘the day before.’  Love is looking for a bigger part of our life to dwell in, which means some element will be outgrown.

There is a passage that takes place from one area of life, to another… particularly when it comes to relationships.  To enter into a loving relationship with another means that we are going to transition from the comfort of care that we knew alone… to learn what it means to comort in caring for another.  There are thing that we much detach from in this process of growth.

To love is to grow… is to experience detachment from the former self… is to experience the pain that is associated with it.

The alternative is to hold on to that which we knew in some sort of self-loving obsession and hope that the other person will simply cater to our needs.  Self-love causes a panick within us as our comfort must wrestle with the question, “am I willing to let go of what I knew, in order to experience something new.”  We don’t always consider these situations as areas to be embraced… and so we cling to that which we do not want to lose… holding tightly, and often whining.

Detachment is a prelude to maturing in love.

Detachment is required for being able to move forward in love.

We cannot hold on to the innocence of youth.  We cannot hold on to the moments of yesterday.  We cannot hold on to our children as newborns.  We cannot hold on to the burning passions of a relationship that is new.

We must be willing to move through the pain of the love that we knew yesterday, or order to grow into a more perfect love for tomorrow.

To love… is to grow.